Why I love my Verizon phone:

Im just crazy about my Verizon (um, no I dont work for them) phone, and i'm gonna tell you why.
Yesterday, while I was at work, I took the liberty (as I always do mostly because if i dont do it, it wont get done) of mopping the salon floor. During this process, a customer came in so I tended to her purchase. She left and I noticed there was a message on my cellphone so, as i fiddled with my phone I also grabbed the mop in the process (you can see where this is going) and yes, due to my sad lack of multi-tasking at any level...........KERRR PLUNKKK!
WAAAAAAAHHHHH! OMG, OMG, MY NEW PHONE! GRRRR! HURRY SAVE IT! OMG, OMG, OK THINK FAST JUNIOR YOU LUGGHEAD! OH SHIT ITS DEEP GET THIS MUTHA OUT . SPLASH! OH GAWD! IM DEAD MEAT! OK, OK, BATTERY......MUST REMOVE BATTERY....GET THIS DAMN COVER OFF, GRRR HURRRY! OK OK BATTERY OUT. HURRY SOMEONE GIMME A BLOWDRYER. for a split second there i was momentarily relieved i was surrounded by blow dryers. WHIZZZZZ WHIZZZZZ (for about 10 minutes) then I said wait. what happened last time LMAO I remembered the "pool incident" The damn phone was 10 feet deep that time so I began to have hope.
BUT
Good things come to those who wait.
I thought to myself, lemme give it a whole day in the sun to re-coop or whatever phones do when their owners are retards like me.

NEXT DAY


Shell and I looked at the phone, then at eachother, then we prayed
It wasnt a long prayer (like please dont be pregnant) But almost as important.
I told Shell I was gonna look away as she put the battery genly in its rightful place.
Last thing I saw was Shells fingeres crossed which scared me because I did'nt cross mine (maybe i'm jinxing my ass?)
Oh well,
anyway guess what?

I HEARD BEAUTIFUL SOUND COMING FROM THAT TINY SPEAKER! AND THE LOOK ON PIXIES FACE REMINDED ME OF THE LOOK SHE GETS WHEN SHE'S ummm nevermind
So,
That is why I LOVE VERIZON phones!
the end.