My angel will love this

WHEN JUST BUT A LITTLE BOY
FULL OF LIFE AND MUCH JOY
COULDN'T WAIT TO PLAY AND HAVE FUN THAT DAY
A DAY WHEN YOUNG IN SENSE
MY HAND REACHED UP AND TOUCHED THE FENCE
THE SHOCK WIDENED MY EYES RIGHT AWAY
SCARED AND WENT RUNNING HOME
NO MOM NO DAD I WAS HOME ALONE
I WAS SO SCARED NOT SURE WHAT TO DO
TOLD NEIGHBOR LADY WHAT IV'E BEEN THRU
ASKING HER WHAT I SHOULD DO
ONLY TO HEAR HER SAY

LITTLE BOY . LITTLE BOY , YOU'LL NOT LIVE ANOTHER DAY
GO HOME NOW LITTLE BOY HOME TO DIE AND STAY

LITTLE BOY, LITTLE BOY , YOU'LL NOT LIVE ANOTHER DAY
GO HOME NOW LITTLE BOY , HOME TO DIE AND STAY

WITH TEARS IN MY EYES AND FEAR THAT I SHOULD DIE
SPENT MOST OF THE ASKING AND WONDERING WHY
COULDN'T TELL MOM OR DAD SO THEY NOT TO BE SO SAD
I HIDE IN MY ROOM COUNTING WHAT LITTLE TIME I HAD
I TOSSED AND TURNED AND WAS UP ALL NIGHT
AS THE TIME CAME UPON ME AND IN MY FRIGHT
AN HOUR LEFT I COULD STILL HEAR THE LADY SAY

LITTLE BOY , LITTLE BOY YOU'LL NOT LIVE ANOTHER DAY
GO HOME NOW LITTLE BOY LITTLE BOY TO DIE AND STAY

LITTLE BOY, LITTLE BOY YOU'LL NOT LIVE ANOTHER DAY
GO HOME NOW LITTLE BOY , TO DIE AND STAY

IT WAS THEN MY MIND SNAPPED AND LIFE WENT AWAY
MY LIFE AS A LITTLE BOY NEVER TO BE THE SAME WAY
WITH YEARS OF HELP FROM MOM AND DAD
THE MINISTERS ANDTHE DOCTORS AND ALL THE LOVE I HAD

MY LIFE AS OLDER BETTER IT IS THIS DAY
I WISHED ONLY IF THAT LADY WOULDN'T OF LIED MY LIFE AWAY
PLEASE PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF WHAT YOU SAY
WHAT WE SAY TO CHILDREN CAN AFFECT THEM IN SUCH A WAY
PLEASE PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF WHAT YOU SAY
CAUSE YOU CAN HURT THOSE CHILDREN IN SUCH A WAY

METALMAN

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/ \ "Dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask". ~X-Files







I have read somewhere that we all dream everytime we sleep. I know this is true for me because I dream all the time. It's just remembering the dream that makes it hard. I usually only remember certain parts of dreams but sometimes I can remember the whole thing. I started by keeping a journal by my bed and as soon as I wake up I write down my dream.
I have found that if I write the dream down within 5 minutes of waking up, I can remember alot more. After doing this for a while, it actually startled me because the dreams were really weird. Nostly scary or off the wall. I remember trying to make myself dream about certain things but it never worked.

What I did notice though, was that I had a few re-occuring dreans. One of them I want to tell you about. I call it "MetalMan". Not to be confused with Ironman although I am not ruling out the possibility that it's connected somehow.


Anyway, let me say a few things about this dream before I start.
First of all, it's always the same scene by scene,everytime. I can dream this dream and know that I am dreaming it again in the dream. The reason why I need to mention this is because there is a stupid ass part of the dream that is supposed to be funny, but it's not. So each time I am having the dream I am dreadfully anticipating that moment.
The other thing I wanted to say was that these pictures really dont look like the guy in my dream but its as close as I can get to give you an idea.He has no eyes, just dark sockets and he's really shiny!



Ok so heres the dream.............................I am awakening, kind of like a baby. My sences tell me that the sky is blue, the air smells clean and I feel like I am in a safe place. I feel my tiny bodystretch and twist as if awakening from a long soft sleep. I blink my eyes and see a shiny smiling face looking down at me. I then realize that I am being held by this figure. And he is HUGE. As big as a mountain! and he is all metal. Not just regular metal scraps but chromed metal! He is beautiful. And I guess he must like me because he smiled and is holding me in his huge hand, What is going to happen next? Why am I here? Metalman must know. So I will wait. Right here. Where its warm and cozy in Metalmans giant hand. I might even take another nap..........

...........WOAH whats goin on? we are standind behind a mountain and Metalman is acting weird. He is looking over the mountain as people pass by and then ducking. ............Oh My GOD! He's laughing!Ha Ha he sounds funny but its a weird laugh. Kinda like that dog "Muttley" from that old cartoon? It's kind of a wheezy laugh. Irritating actually. But what is even more ridiculous than that stupis laugh is that he thinks he is being "sneaky". It's like he thinks noboby can see him hiding behind the mountain.He is BIGGER than the mountain. He has to get on his knees to hide completely but he doesnt. Instead he just crouches over a little bit but paople can still see him. And some of them laugh . I hear them laugh at Metalman. I know he hears them laugh too but he probably doesnt realize that the jokes on him. So he laughs and snickers all day. Hmmm this could get old.........
..........Ok its night ime now and Metalman is finally tired of laughing and hiding behind the mountain so we go to sleep. .......................
.....................Morning comes and we go to the mountain again so I can watch Metalman act like he's hiding again. I hear the laugh and I realize its not so bad. After all, he is taking care of me and he really doesnt talk so whats the big deal if the big fella wants to have a lil fun? I just sit there and wave at the people. They seem to be bored of Metalman because the laugh must have pissed them off too.
Anyway this goes on for what seems like a few days and then one day. Metalman stops laughing. And looks down at me all serious like he is trying to tell me something. I look down from the mountain and Metalman stand up and points down to the people below. I stand up and look as Metalman bends over and slowly and very gently streches his huge arm down to the ground and opens his giant palm and hands me over to my real mom and dad.

WINDING DOWN

I made a New Years resolution this year. It occured to me tonight while at my brothers place. We talked alot about the good old days and the crazy things we've done. And believe me they were CRAZY! Some of those things will always remain just between Gabriel and I. Anyway, as we talked we began to explore the reasons for most of our mistakes along the way and came to the conclusion that whoever invented the metaphor "life in the fast lane", worded it correctly because it sure was fast. But too fast. Too fast for our own good because that is where 90% of the mistakes lied. It's true. As young people start to explore their future they often go too fast and overlook other details that might have prevented a mishap or failure. This is nothing new, really, but the whole discussion turned into a revelation of how we are now. Which is more laid back. And it was sort of rewarding (for me at least) because I knew that this year I had a new goal. Not a huge one, but none the less. a goal to remind myself to stay slow, dont panic, figure it out, yes, but dont freak out if it doesnt happen the way you want it. (it never does anyway huh?) Dont let mean people affect you, walk it off, stay away from rumors. Think of positive ways to talk to people, blow away negative energy and thoughts,especially thoughts because we have to use our mind to make actions. Theres so much more that relates to what i am thinking of at this very moment. So then we got quiet for a few minutes. Just Gabe and I. Both wondering what the other one was gonna say next, when Gabe started talking about our old pal named John who was always and still is in the fast lane. Gabe laughed about how he was always losing things. Everytine John came to us for a visit, he was always late, and he always had a story about what just happened to him and it usually involved something he forgot to do or something that he lost to make him late. It wasnt always a bad thing though. Sometimes his lateness included a gift for us like a good bottle of booze or concert tickets or stereo speakers or cd's.But for some reason there was always a sentiment of disapointment in my mind because I could see clearly that this young man was either taking a risk orgetting involved with something that might get us all into trouble. And a few times it did happen, we got into some situations that we never expected to happen. Like partying with him in a bar and finding out that John threw up in the bathroom and having the manager hand him a mop to clean it up and then kicked us out. Or locking his keys in his car. Losing his keys, losing his money, etc. etc. I will go on to say that 90% of the time when John came for a visit he would leave something that he forgot at our house, which sometimes involved us having to wake up at weird hors in the morning or go run something to him. But we love him like a brother and just accept him for what he is. The conversation turned to the theory of losing things, which is one of my main points in this whole blog. We all lose things. And sometimes we feel so dumb because we know its somewhere but cant find it. "It was just right here" is what we say and then our mind starts going int o a deep analysis of where it could be. But it all boils down to one of 2 things. Either it is here somewhere or it is somewhere else. If it is somewhere else it could still be yours or it could be gone forever. BUT, if it is here (now heres the important part), it will "show up" which means that you could either decide to spend all day lookin for it OR you can wait (kick back) and let it FIND YOU! AND IT WIL FIND YOU!! If it's there, i guaranfrikintee it. It always does. Sometimes its right under your nose, sometimes it's sitting in a position that is not visible at the angle that you eye is looking at. Sometimes its up there^^^ or there<<< or there>>>. well.... you get the picture...... As the conversation turned into this affirmation of what we knew to be truth, I noticed Gabe had a gleam in his eye, as did I as well because sometimes thoughts become things . And sometimes it pays to get to an age where you feel at ease to no longer give a fuck about trivial bullshit. To know that these spoken things are related to age and wisdom. Knowledge that might keep us alive a maybe even lil bit longer. Richard Pryor in his early standup years did an act about n old black man by the name of "Mudbone" Mudbone would tell fascinating stories about life and love.The most profound thing that Mudbone would relay is this...... and I qoute: "Ya know"....."Old people are not fools!"..."Naw Naw".."You dont get old to be no damn fool!" (pause) " Theres alotta young wise men though, that are deader than a motherfucker!" HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

3 REASONS TO BE HAPPY........OK, 4

Lalo Guerrero

"I saw, Saw"

I asked someone if they saw , Saw and they said saw what? I said Saw the movie, they said what movie? I said SAW. Did you see the new Saw movie? They said, Oh no, did you? I said not yet but I want to see Saw. They said, oh well, I dont think theres a playground nearby. I said, No I want to see the new Saw movie! They said, I want to see Saw too. I said, I already saw the second one. They said , the second what? I said.....never mind...............