Tuesday, January 5, 2010

WINDING DOWN

I made a New Years resolution this year. It occured to me tonight while at my brothers place. We talked alot about the good old days and the crazy things we've done. And believe me they were CRAZY! Some of those things will always remain just between Gabriel and I. Anyway, as we talked we began to explore the reasons for most of our mistakes along the way and came to the conclusion that whoever invented the metaphor "life in the fast lane", worded it correctly because it sure was fast. But too fast. Too fast for our own good because that is where 90% of the mistakes lied. It's true. As young people start to explore their future they often go too fast and overlook other details that might have prevented a mishap or failure. This is nothing new, really, but the whole discussion turned into a revelation of how we are now. Which is more laid back. And it was sort of rewarding (for me at least) because I knew that this year I had a new goal. Not a huge one, but none the less. a goal to remind myself to stay slow, dont panic, figure it out, yes, but dont freak out if it doesnt happen the way you want it. (it never does anyway huh?) Dont let mean people affect you, walk it off, stay away from rumors. Think of positive ways to talk to people, blow away negative energy and thoughts,especially thoughts because we have to use our mind to make actions. Theres so much more that relates to what i am thinking of at this very moment. So then we got quiet for a few minutes. Just Gabe and I. Both wondering what the other one was gonna say next, when Gabe started talking about our old pal named John who was always and still is in the fast lane. Gabe laughed about how he was always losing things. Everytine John came to us for a visit, he was always late, and he always had a story about what just happened to him and it usually involved something he forgot to do or something that he lost to make him late. It wasnt always a bad thing though. Sometimes his lateness included a gift for us like a good bottle of booze or concert tickets or stereo speakers or cd's.But for some reason there was always a sentiment of disapointment in my mind because I could see clearly that this young man was either taking a risk orgetting involved with something that might get us all into trouble. And a few times it did happen, we got into some situations that we never expected to happen. Like partying with him in a bar and finding out that John threw up in the bathroom and having the manager hand him a mop to clean it up and then kicked us out. Or locking his keys in his car. Losing his keys, losing his money, etc. etc. I will go on to say that 90% of the time when John came for a visit he would leave something that he forgot at our house, which sometimes involved us having to wake up at weird hors in the morning or go run something to him. But we love him like a brother and just accept him for what he is. The conversation turned to the theory of losing things, which is one of my main points in this whole blog. We all lose things. And sometimes we feel so dumb because we know its somewhere but cant find it. "It was just right here" is what we say and then our mind starts going int o a deep analysis of where it could be. But it all boils down to one of 2 things. Either it is here somewhere or it is somewhere else. If it is somewhere else it could still be yours or it could be gone forever. BUT, if it is here (now heres the important part), it will "show up" which means that you could either decide to spend all day lookin for it OR you can wait (kick back) and let it FIND YOU! AND IT WIL FIND YOU!! If it's there, i guaranfrikintee it. It always does. Sometimes its right under your nose, sometimes it's sitting in a position that is not visible at the angle that you eye is looking at. Sometimes its up there^^^ or there<<< or there>>>. well.... you get the picture...... As the conversation turned into this affirmation of what we knew to be truth, I noticed Gabe had a gleam in his eye, as did I as well because sometimes thoughts become things . And sometimes it pays to get to an age where you feel at ease to no longer give a fuck about trivial bullshit. To know that these spoken things are related to age and wisdom. Knowledge that might keep us alive a maybe even lil bit longer. Richard Pryor in his early standup years did an act about n old black man by the name of "Mudbone" Mudbone would tell fascinating stories about life and love.The most profound thing that Mudbone would relay is this...... and I qoute: "Ya know"....."Old people are not fools!"..."Naw Naw".."You dont get old to be no damn fool!" (pause) " Theres alotta young wise men though, that are deader than a motherfucker!" HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


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1 comment:

SylphSong said...

Kind of like you and I... we just ended up right where we belonged.

<3

I love you.