Saturday, December 27, 2008


I was gonna save this for mothers day, but its too good to wait that long for. So here's a lil tribute to all you precious mothers out there!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Black November

This year, as it comes to an end brought along a new encounter. What I am referring to is Black November. The day they start the Christmas music. That seems to me to be WAY early to start singing Jingle Bells, especially since i live in the desert and the heat just barely left town and long before I sit and gorge on my turkey dinner at Thanksgiving, in fact on that very day, my mind is still trying to deal with the trauma of leftover Halloween candy.
Ok so a week goes by and people are settling down into the holiday spirit. The radio is pumpin out every Christmas song known to man. I am dealing with it because it still kinda groovy. Its been over 9 or 10 months since i heard this stuff and the visions of sugarplums are startin to appear in my head. I get a shit eatin grin on my face as I ponder upon eating sugarplums (whatever the fuck they are) with my Thanksgiving turkey.
Incidently, I wanted to bring up something that totally cracked me up. Yall know "Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer" right? Well someone took a line from the song and made a movie about it. Which I am not against but check this out, its called "Olive the "other" reindeer" Get it? (I would assume that Olive was the one who "used to laugh and call him names) I shit you not google it, Drew Barrymores in it.
What my point is, is that by Thanksgiving I am totally burned out (and you may be too) on Christmas tunes, I now make it a game to see which song is played the most each hour. I might mention at this time that I am a slave to this because I have to play this music at work ALL DAY LONG! If i hear Miss Piggy belt out that annoying "Five Golden Rings" , one more time I truly believe my eardrums may burst. There is one lil hint of re-discovery however, its about an affirmation that I still hate Bruce Springsteen. What he does to "Santa Claus is coming to town" is to me, a sacriledge. (as if you can even understand what hes saying)
Ok so what do I do? umm nothing really except I have found a way to appreciate this experience................because after all, things could be worse.................
..................Imagine if you will, that there was only ONE Christmas song. One melody, Four lines.

And heres the clincher.....

It has to be sung to the tune of "Happy Birthday"

Wouldnt that suck more?

Methinks so.
It really would...........

Merry Christmas to you,
Merry Christmas to you,
Merry Christmas dear , (insert name here)
Merry Christmas to you!

Ok I will shup now
In the words of "GUMBY" (not the plastic toy figure but the Eddie Murphy SNL character)


(from snl)-->
Here's a little story, it's called "The Night After Christmas". "It was the day after Christmas, and the world was peaceful and calm. Santa Claus had been delivering toys all night. His back hurt him so. He was very tired. So he went to his kitchen and fixed himself a cup of Swiss Milk hot chocolate. Just then, an elf named Fred came up and said, 'Excuse me, Saint Nick. Can I have a sip of your hot chocolate?' Santa went crazy! He grabbed the elf and tore his lungs out." The end! Merry Christmas, boys and girls. Did you like that?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Ding .........Fries are Done

Its early, i know, but commercialism usually is....

Friday, November 7, 2008




now that the elections are over, now that things have settled down,its time to say........

```~~~I LOVE YOU!!~~~
``~~~I LOVE YOU!!~~~``~~~I LOVE YOU!!~~~``~~~I LOVE YOU!!~~~``~~~I LOVE YOU!!~~~``~~~I LOVE YOU!!~~~``~

Thursday, October 30, 2008


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Monday, October 27, 2008

Pixies Homemade Pumpkin Empanadas

There it was, the last empanada.
Oh, its mine, i'm not worried about that. Pixie already told me I could have it because she already gave 3 away and the Bean doenst like pumpkin (only apple) so I was good to go. What DID worry me was this was the last one.
As I gazed upon this confectionary delight I realized that her soul was in there,beyond the golden flaky crust.......deep inside the cinammony spiced pumpkin was her heart.
What she didnt know was these lil gems have been a favorite of my family for generations.
Whats more is I have NEVER tasted an empanada this good! What puzzles me is , how does a lil irish gal pull this off?
You know what?
I dont wanna know.

I just wanna sit here and....

excuse me but,

could i be alone with my empanada for a while?

Hey Thanks!

Things arent always what they seem...............

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Friday, October 17, 2008

Gettin my craft on...

These solid concrete benches were all made from homemade templates designed
by my father. Ceramic tiles and natural stones were used in the decor.
It was fun doing these projects with my father, a brilliant man and mentor.

I am going to make a few more of these custom benches for Pixie and Gabby.
I will post pictures of them when the project is completed.

I am also in the process of upgrading our back yard!
My girls are gonna love the water feature that I have in mind.

So much to do, but it will be worth it in the end.

I will be posting some more of my work shortly.


Sunday, October 12, 2008

about philanthropy.........

I just saw a video called How cool...
posted by ~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ at SylphNascency, and it moved me to write this blog because the video reminded me that this is what its all about.
Helping others less fortunate.
Thats what I love about my Pixie because shes an inspiration for us all to start giving, give till it hurts.
All my life i've tried to live by this rule. (which is probably why I dont have much) Its a good one. It works because its real. Sometimes when you give, you have to go without things that you really enjoy, but, like the guy in the video said, the feeling you get when you see how happy you made someones life is PRICELESS!!
So........ I am asking all of you to please, please, do something nice for someone today.
It doesnt have to be alot.
Just try it.
You will see what a difference there is.
I want to leave you with a lil story that has always stuck in my mind since I was young.
My great grandma used to live in a lil town called Superior.
Behind her house she had chicken coops and would go out and feed them.
Of course I always wanted to see the chickens and help so sometimes she would let me, (she was a very independent crabby, almost mean kinda woman) but sometimes she would say no.
The times that she would say no, I noticed that she was carrying people food out to the chicken coops.
Nobody dared ask her why because in those days, you didnt question grown ups.
But being the hyper curious lad that I was, I had to investigate. So I snuck out after her, dodging behind trees, spying on gramma........
she went further back behind the chicken coops , she even went past the garbage cans where, in those days you burned your garbage, behind the fence, where the railroad tracks were.
And there she was, my gramma, feeding 3 "hobos".
Right at that moment she saw me and "shooed" me with her hand to go back inside. Which I immediately did.
But I waited till she got back to ask her why she was feeding these bums.
She gave me a half cross and half calm look (if thats even possible and it was) and she said......
"Because one of them is Jesus"

And at that very moment I wanted to be more like gramma.

peace and love

Sunday, October 5, 2008

The picture y'all didnt see.

On Pixies blog (SylphNascency) she posted a picture of her that was good. But this ones better.

What a lucky guy I am.........(sighs)

Thursday, October 2, 2008 more

The last four days have been sad for me.
Why you ask?
My Pixies been ill.
Poor thing, she wouldnt let me do anything for her. She just layed there and slept. I tried my best to cheer her up but I could see shes just like me and was better off just being left alone.
I waited, lol, she caught me staring at her a few times but just didnt say anything. She was feelin poo poo and out of sorts and so I waited more.
Today shes better. Not bouncin around like she always does but shes doin mom things. What also helped was the 2 packages that arrived in the mail; one was our new FREE modem for lightning speed internet (cordless) and a wonderful package from the very talented SORROW.
Sorrow that was a beautiful assortment of gifts (and Pixies prize) and it couldnt have come at a better time (by the way, to me these kind of things are no coincidence) and i wanted to personally thank you from the heart. Im sure Pixies gonna want to post pix of these lovely gems that will be cherished forever.

One last thing I want to say for now,
I re-learned something new.
I forgot what it was like to feel pain for someone you love.
Peace Out

Monday, September 29, 2008

Why I love my Verizon phone:

Im just crazy about my Verizon (um, no I dont work for them) phone, and i'm gonna tell you why.
Yesterday, while I was at work, I took the liberty (as I always do mostly because if i dont do it, it wont get done) of mopping the salon floor. During this process, a customer came in so I tended to her purchase. She left and I noticed there was a message on my cellphone so, as i fiddled with my phone I also grabbed the mop in the process (you can see where this is going) and yes, due to my sad lack of multi-tasking at any level...........KERRR PLUNKKK!
WAAAAAAAHHHHH! OMG, OMG, MY NEW PHONE! GRRRR! HURRY SAVE IT! OMG, OMG, OK THINK FAST JUNIOR YOU LUGGHEAD! OH SHIT ITS DEEP GET THIS MUTHA OUT . SPLASH! OH GAWD! IM DEAD MEAT! OK, OK, BATTERY......MUST REMOVE BATTERY....GET THIS DAMN COVER OFF, GRRR HURRRY! OK OK BATTERY OUT. HURRY SOMEONE GIMME A BLOWDRYER. for a split second there i was momentarily relieved i was surrounded by blow dryers. WHIZZZZZ WHIZZZZZ (for about 10 minutes) then I said wait. what happened last time LMAO I remembered the "pool incident" The damn phone was 10 feet deep that time so I began to have hope.
Good things come to those who wait.
I thought to myself, lemme give it a whole day in the sun to re-coop or whatever phones do when their owners are retards like me.


Shell and I looked at the phone, then at eachother, then we prayed
It wasnt a long prayer (like please dont be pregnant) But almost as important.
I told Shell I was gonna look away as she put the battery genly in its rightful place.
Last thing I saw was Shells fingeres crossed which scared me because I did'nt cross mine (maybe i'm jinxing my ass?)
Oh well,
anyway guess what?

That is why I LOVE VERIZON phones!
the end.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

थिस इस कूल

OMG! I don't know how they do it, but it is funny! 1. GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITE:



(Skip your e-mail address.)

4. Click on 'Vizualizar' and watch what happens ... & don't ask me how they do that!


As I was preparing to get ready for work, I passed by our bed. There they were. 3 of them. Snoozing like babies. My girl, Granger (dog), and MAX the cat. I dont normally like the animals in our bed, but I didnt have the heart to wake them since they looked so cozy.
As I walked away i smiled as I realized what a wonderful woman I am with for love surrounds her everywhere she goes. Even the animals cant get enough of her. And then I did something else. I stopped. Looked up and closed my eyes. And I gave thanks to my Creator for this experience.
And then I remembered something she always says.......
......YOU ARE LOVED.......

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

This will mess with yer head!

Ok check this out, look at the picture for a few seconds and count the people, when the picture changes, count them again. Dont ask me how this works , i just post em, not invent em.


Sunday, August 17, 2008

AHEM........about SEX

umm.....if you ever needed a reason.......

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth. ============= 2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow. ============= 3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner. ============= 4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers! ============= 5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. ============= 6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy! ============== 7 . Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM. ============= 8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up. ============= 9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. ============= 10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. =============

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

To die in the rain. Alone.

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side'. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's life long dream of crossing the road.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash...#@&&^(C% ........reboot.

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

Globel warming has made the chicken cross the road. Millions of chickens have cross the road due to the climate changes within the past 20 years

Did I miss one?

Where's my gun?

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Saturday, August 2, 2008


Do World's Oldest Jokes Pack Any Punch?Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap. -- 1900 BC to 1600 BC, Sumerian Proverb Collection 1.12-1.13
:( 82%
:) 18%
How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish. -- 1600 BC, an abridged version first found on the Westcar Papryus
:( 54%
:) 46% Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load. The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen. So they all went. In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load. Problem: Who owns the calf? -- 1200 BC
:) 51%
:( 49% A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years. When he found another woman he said to her, "I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye." And she answered him: "Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage?" -- 1100 BC, Egyptian
:( 52%
:) 48%
Odysseus tells the Cyclops that his real name is nobody. When Odysseus instructs his men to attack the Cyclops, the Cyclops shouts: "Help, nobody is attacking me!" No one comes to help. -- 800 BC, Homer, 'The Odyssey'
:) 73%
:( 27%
What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two at noon and three at evening? Man. He goes on all fours as a baby, on two feet as a man and uses a cane in old age. -- 429 BC, appears in Oedipus Tyrannus
:) 70%
:( 30%
Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey -- his purse is what restrains him. -- 304 BC to 30 BC, Egyptian, Ptolemaic period
:) 56%
:( 44%
Augustus was touring his empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: "Was your mother at one time in service at the palace?" "No your Highness," he replied, "but my father was." -- 63 BC to 29 AD, credited to the Emperor Augustus
:) 91%
:( 9%
Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said "I've had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died." -- 4th to 5th century AD, dated to the 'Philogelos,' or 'Laughter-Lover,' the oldest extant jest book
:) 58%
:( 42%
Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: "In silence." -- 4th to 5th century AD, collected in the 'Philogelos'
:) 82%
:( 18%
The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons -- "What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."
here's an olde english limerick from about the 16th of 17th century...."she offered her honor, he honored her offer, and all night long he was on her and off her"...Who had the happiest marriage in the Universe? Adam and Eve. HE never had to listen to her go on about all the other guys she could have married; and SHE never had to listen to "what a great cook his mother was"
The top 10 oldest jokes can be viewed at www.dave-tv

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Big Eyed Fish

Story of a man,
Who decided not to breathe.
Turned red, purple, then blue.
Colorful indeed.
No matter how his friends begged,
Well, he would not concede,
And now hes dead.
You see, cause everybody knows,
You got to breathe.

But, oh god,
Under the weight of life,
Things seem brighter on the other side...
Lighter on the other side...

Another one: see this monkey sitting on a tree,
One day, decided to climb down,
And run off to the city.
Look at him now, tired and drunk
And living on the street.
As good as dead.
You see, a monkey should know,
Stay up your tree.

But, oh god,
Under the weight of life,
Things seem brighter on the other side.
Oh, god,
But under the weight of life,
Things seem much brighter on the other side.

No way, no way, no way.... out... of here...

Another one: a big eyed fish,
Yeah, swimming in the sea,
Oh, how he dreamed.
He wants to be a bird,
Swooping, diving through the breeze.
One day, he caught a big blue wave,
Up onto the beach,
And now hes dead.
You see, a fishs dream,
Should stay in the sea.

But, oh god,
Under the weight of life,
Things seem brighter on the other side.

No way... no way...out... of here...

No way out of life.

Monday, July 14, 2008


Hey, umm, ill be back later to finish this important topic ok?

Saturday, July 12, 2008

My Concrete Angel

This song reminds me of her. Shes very witty and smart even when things get out of hand. I wont call her a soul mate (overused), but there is def a reason shes in my life. I waited over 50 yrs for this, thank you God.
There is so much more to say about this incredible creature,but for now, just listen to the song......................